casual transphobia bites hard

i came across this post tonight.  dude, it made me sad.  like, maybe this guy is joking around and shit and his reply to my comment will make me feel like an overly sensitive asshole, but it still seems pretty transphobic.  so here’s the  comment i posted:

trans women are women. they don’t WANT to be women; they ARE women.  likewise, trans men are MEN.  and non-binary trans people, like me, are simply people whose gender is neither male nor female.

gender identity, the feeling that you are a woman/man/other, stands alone.  gender identity affects gender expression, but it isn’t dependent on gender expression.  appearing female doesn’t make a person female.  a female gender identity makes a person female.  gender is internal, man, and trans people are not “unfortunate tweeners”.  trans people often have clear gender identities; we know what our gender is.  you’re the one who is confused.

“just curs[ing]… god” isn’t an option for trans people.  if a person who was born with a penis and who is female still presents as male, that WOMAN is being perceived as male.  that’s a pretty stifling closet, man.  like, it sucks hard, man.  if that woman transitions to a female presentation, whether or not said transition includes surgery and/or hormones, she is doing what she has to do in order to grow as a person and to not simply suffocate in her closet.

furthermore, you simply have no right to conclude that, for example, all men must have dense facial hair and must be over 6 feet in height.  that is sexist and unrealistic.  even people born with penises may grow sparse beards, may be short, may have difficulty building muscle, and/or may be “super adorable”.  what is “manliness”, anyway, and how much “manliness” do YOU ooze?

you say that you’ve “formed an opinion on transgender people”.  here’s a definition for you:

prej·u·dice

noun
1.
a. An adverse judgment or opinion formed beforehand or without knowledge or examination of the facts.
b. A preconceived preference or idea.
2. The act or state of holding unreasonable preconceived judgments or convictions. See Synonyms at predilection.
3. Irrational suspicion or hatred of a particular group, race, or religion.
4. Detriment or injury caused to a person by the preconceived, unfavorable conviction of another or others. (http://www.thefreedictionary.com/prejudice)

is that a rude comment?  if the blogger just deletes it, should i be surprised?  cuz i don’t know.  i just know that i’m put-off by his totally casual transphobia.

i don’t think he’s trying to be an asshole— i think he’s just totally clueless.  so i don’t want to be rude to this guy and just jump all over him and stuff.  yeah.
what do you peoples think about this?

7 responses to “casual transphobia bites hard

  1. I agree with you wholeheartedly. I would do the same thing, and have many times over. I looked at his post and I didn’t see your comment which means it’s likely been deleted already. But then again, I don’t know if “moderation pending” comments are displayed to anyone visiting the site, or just to the commenter. The writer of that post appears to believe the goal of transition is to be passable, stereotypical men and women and it’s not.

    It’s to save our butts from the cold dark places we hid in. It would appear though that this person chooses to retain their prejudiced beliefs stifling in ignorance, because and counterargument will make him look bad. Too bad for him, his blog already makes him look bad without your comments to point out how ignorant and stupid he is. More evidence that trolls blog too.

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  3. “The writer of that post appears to believe the goal of transition is to be passable, stereotypical men and women and it’s not.”

    you know, that’s exactly it. somehow, i’ve never thought of that before, but that’s the fundamental misunderstanding that certain cis people experience. however, i wouldn’t call him a troll; he is deplorably ignorant, yes, but that doesn’t mean he’s a troll. he could be a genuinely kind and thoughtful person; casual transphobia is deeply embedded in society. his post totally makes him look like a troll, though— for sure.

    i just checked my comment; evidently, it’s still waiting to be moderated. oh, well.

  4. So I guess only the poster can see it. I don’t know the status of his inner conscience or motivation. Not all trolls write stuff hoping to get someones attention to berate them, sometimes they just post and block refutation. I call him a troll, because of he is in the least ignorantly feeding negativistic mental attitudes about transgender people. He may not have been trolling intentionally, but I still feel it’s troll-like to post stuff like that.

    His mentality is exactly why suicide rates among trans people are so high. As intense as it is for me, I’d rather be live happily as an ugly woman, than die utterly miserable as an attractive man. I, however, am lucky. I am not easy to spot, most people aren’t so lucky. I knew a transfemale a friend of mine who suffered the internalization that they would never be sufficiently beautiful/loveable as woman, and same with my transmale friends who feel the are too short and cute to be handsome/loved as well. Some of them are not with us anymore, some titter on the brink.

    Transwoman certainly get the raw end of the stick when it comes to criticism, so perhaps given my experience I am slightly more harsh in my condemnation. I know that post like is are proverbial landmines waiting to ambush some unsuspecting transwoman searching the webiverse for validation. Thus my position is somewhat harsher. I hope that doesn’t speak negatively of me. But you are totally right, transphobia is casually landmined throughout the web and real world as though it was litter.

    I do honestly hope one day that defining words can be less riddled with assumptions. Male-to-Female and Female-to-Male (less so for Androgynous/Agender/Genderqueer) belies the nature of who we are by assuming priority for assigned sex, rather than identity. So it’s understandable that people don’t understand that we aren’t men nor were we ever, we are women and vise versa for transmen. That issue is a very complicated one indeed, and feeds much of the dehumanization of trans non-binary quality of humanity. So I’ll delay my judgement in lieu of his action.

  5. i understand that his post could hurt someone— and that’s serious, man. the post itself is pretty harsh and totally transphobic, but i can’t just label this guy a troll until he makes another move. what if he rewrites (or deletes) his post? what if he says he didn’t really think it through? i think this person is just plain ignorant— dangerously so. if other people leave civil, sincere comments for him, it might help him realize how dangerous casual transphobia really is. education = good.

    “…it’s understandable that people don’t understand that we aren’t men nor were we ever, we are women and vise versa for trans men.”

    oh, yes. this is the truth, man. personally, i no longer use the terms “ftm” and “mtf” as i find them inaccurate and damaging. “trans man”, “trans woman”, and “trans person” work just fine and they don’t support the notion that trans women, for example, were ever men. great point!

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