school will be starting soon; i’ll be returning to university on september 4th. i’m really fucking nervous. like, i’m losing sleep and not really taking care of myself (not spending enough time outside, mainly). i keep promising myself that i’ll be fine once school actually starts and i’ll start taking care of myself at that point, but i’m feeling pretty shitty.
so i’ve decided to start taking care of myself NOW by going outside more often, writing scary fairy tales, and telling you cats about my silly nervous tummy.
i totally didn’t mean for that to sound so cute. sorry, folks.
anyway, i’ll be wearing my gender tag to school and insisting on non-gendered pronouns. last year, i was out to everybody i managed to bring it up with and i used the non-gendered bathrooms exclusively, but this is gonna be different. and that freaks me the fuck out, folks. like, i’m having nightmares about it already.
last night, i had this nightmare where this teacher who i really look up to went all radscum on me cuz his partner is a radfem and my dream-brain thinks he must be total radscum. even though i have no idea how he feels about trans* people and it’s never even come up. but it WILL come up on the first day of school. i’ll be sitting right in front of him wearing my gender tag and i won’t let him misgender me without protesting loudly.
i’ll have to be loud about my nonbinary gender around the other students, too. most of them don’t know me at all cuz i tend to keep to myself. i USED to be all social at school, but my increasing social dysphoria really shut me up last year, so i’m gonna be that weird, withdrawn person who only comes out to correct misgendering.
cuz the thing is, once somebody knows i’m nonbinary, THEY WILL NEVER GET AWAY WITH MISGENDERING ME AGAIN. EVER. that’s like, part of my self-respect policy, paragraph 11. so i’m intimidated right now. i’m intimidated by all the standing up for myself i’m going to do at school.
also, i need to plan out what i’m going to say to people. i think just telling people my pronouns are “they/them/their” should be good enough. cuz i already have trouble when i try to explain nonbinary gender to peoples unless they’re specifically interested in it. thoughts on this?
i don’t know what i’m scared of specifically, but i just wanted to talk about it in the open with you lovely peoples. thanks for reading, cats!
how do you deal with dysphoria/misgendering at school?