my school’s queer-straight alliance is wicked-awesome

i know i have enough privilege (white, currently-abled, dfab, conditional cis) to not have to worry about my safety as much as, say, tpoc, but i feel like i always have to be ready for shit.  it’s weird cuz i don’t realize i have my hackles up til i enter actual safe space– and then my shoulders slip down by increments and my stunned jaw thaws.  it’s like i’m so tense all the time that i don’t realize i’m tense til my body tells me it’s over.

every time i walk into the room where my qsa meets, it’s the same.   i realize i’ve been holding myself in when i finally get to sit down in that small room filled with fabulous queers.  those cats are just neon.

i joined my school’s qsa in october-ish; it’s been pretty fucking rad.  also, there’re a bunch of trans* folks in my qsa– and i’m not the only nonbinary person!  huzzah!  i actually get to interact with cats whose pronouns are the same as mine.

i don’t know how to describe my feelings about hanging out with other nonbinary trans* folks in meatspace.  it makes me feel real/safe/solid/shocked/excited/humbled!  i don’t know.  i just can’t explain it, but i bet lotsa you cats know what i’m talking about.  like, i’m SOLID now.  i might actually be a real person!  and these cats always get my pronouns right; that’s pretty rare.  pretty special.

also, all the cis folks in my qsa are lovely and i love them.  <3  they make me feel safe and they seem to give a shit about trans* people.  yay!

i’m rambling.  sorry, folks!  i guess it’s past my bedtime and shit, but i just wanted to tell you about my qsa; they’re a fucking neon bunch.  glitter and plaid for all!  g’night!

also, here’s a silly picture of some of the cats in my qsa:

qsa

5 responses to “my school’s queer-straight alliance is wicked-awesome

  1. yeah, I get that, the worrying about safety thing. I mostly worry for my partner who’s transfeminine, but that whole part about not realizing you’re on edge until you enter a place that’s trans* friendly and you can let your guard down, I’ve definitely felt that recently.

  2. Glad you can find people to relax with.

  3. Know the feeling–happens every time I get back to school from break. (My family is crazy religious and shit.)

  4. yeah, the safety feels. they’re important. even though i’m not in any physical danger (i don’t think i am, at least), i always feel uptight when i’m out and about. i think it’s that i know the space just doesn’t really belong to me.

    thanks for the comments, folks; it’s good to know that other people get these feels, too. <3

  5. Pingback: belonging-ful | rainbowgenderpunk

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